I've been trying to throw away money on a totally campy movie with Max von Sydow for a long time now but I still have to wait until October. Yet if I needed DVDs to threaten my sanity I could walk into a store today and fill my library with high concept TV shows such as Airwolf, Punky Brewster (seasons 1 and 2), even those jeezly After School Specials.

RANCH raaaaaanch ranch ranch ranch ranch

There's a new fashion law I'm going to institute. It's the older male tucking shirt into shorts look. Punishment has yet to be decided for displaying this look in public. Doubly against the law is shirts tucked into shorts that have the waistline just below the armpits - otherwise known as the Igor look.

The MidiGun
Curious why it would need to be in a gun form. A Midi Easy Bake Oven would be cooler - or hotter depending on the baking temperature. Wonder what would happen trying to take this onto a plane or pointing it at a NYPD officer.

And a side note to the common claim "I've never tested positive"

I can't resist an album that has a song called Emotional Retard. It's impossible.

Finding pictures of yourself on other Flickr accounts is kind of wierd.

Oh joy oh joy. But also - couldn't you guys have done this sooner. I'm gonna start checking the landfill for discarded yellow bracelets.

Forgot my snowmobile suit at home. So my plan to stalk MythBuster Kari while in San Francisco failed.

Common themes to my trips:

• I go into every trip with the unexplained idea that I'll by a hat.
• Aimless wandering that results in feeling like I need a hip replacement.
• Stores or restuarants that I make a point of going to are generally closed.
• Something like a plastic bag will trip me resulting in some for of injury
• People will ask me for directions no matter how many other people are in the proximity
• There will be cat poop somewhere in the apartment when I get back and it won't be the litterbox

Have I mentioned that I'm the world's worst networker?

Don't get to close to Michael Jackson with that stick of yours Harry.

Thank god for free wireless connections and tables for laptops when sessions get boring.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love sitting next to couples on planes who go into full grope during a flight? I love it!
LOVE. IT.
Especially when they're fat, stinky, and ugly.
LOVE
IT

In the middle of looking for new courier bags and other places to shop and eat on the trip, stumbled on Vanishing Point. Kind of interesting project that parses country references in the last 50 days worth of stories from G7 countries newspapers and generates a map of visibility.

Mac Hacks Allow OS X on PCs

Somewhere in the Last.fm redesign they dropped most of my friend links.

Nothing like 2 and half hours of having a dentist drill into your skull. Looking at all those latex dental dams and other impliments of torment there must be some strong S&M subculture lurking in dentistry to come up with these things.

Trying to replace the ancient light switches in the apartment now. So if I don't post in a couple days it means that I've electricuted myself and somebody should stop in to collect my remains.

Ooooo love to love you toilet. The new toilet's in! This is like the highlight of my 2 week vacation. It's quiet. It flushes. It's not pink. The good fellow from Scandia even hauled off the old crapper. Only thing left is deciding what to do with all that great tile on the floor and shower.

With all the bad retro fashions that keep popping up, the one I'm waiting for the most is the Crocheted Beer Can Hat. Practical for protecting your head from harmful UV rays or as body armour from Britney Spear's BB gun.

It is the wonder of the internet that not only can you find the Ted Shackleford Space Precinct action figure but you can find all the Space Precinct action figures. And damn aren't they life-like. Now if only there was a Manimal collection cause all the cool kids will want one.

The cat reached a new level of poopatude this morning. Saving up 3 days worth of food to expell in a 45 minute struggle to keep her in the box. The finishing up with a good spray of diarrhea on the wall and on my leg right beside my new scrape. Then an encore while using the shower as a cat bidet. Megacolon in Cats is fun.

phhhhssst phhhhssst phhhhssst phhhhssst phhhhssst
It's the least favorite sound 30 minutes into a ride.

My personal life or lack there of seems to have become a concern to people once again. It's sort of funny and disturbing at the same time that people want to attempt match making for me.

Nothing like falling asleep on the couch in the afternoon then waking up with that where am I who am I feeling.