Ikea breakfast $1. Penne pasta 99¢. What's the quality diffenence of that penny? The fun part of the breakfast is almost getting run over by gramps who's rushing in to get his meal and then running out of the building after he's done. Old people love cheap breakfasts.

My moving labour force worked for cheap. Don't think I could have hired illegal aliens cheaper. Thank god for having communist family workers with easily pleased food requirements. Here I was willing to take them for a sit down meal at a more upscale restaurant but was outvoted. The powerful yearning of grease runs deep in the genes of this family.

I hate moving. The only motivational thoughts I could muster were from Bela Legosi in Ed Wood. "Alright, let's shoot this fucker".

crazy
crazy
crazy
I am going crazy

I sent the 86 year old woman who lives below my new apartment flowers because I was making so much noise putting in the floor. She sent me a Strawberry Shortcake thank you card. Gotta love that.

Damn! Why are all new parking spots the ones beside the hulky rusted out truck that crowds into my spot.

Air guitar is always best done au naturel. But sometimes it's good to use stage props like croquet mallets or tennis racquets to enhance the guitarness.

Finally got laid! Oh tile you are a cruel master. yeah i just wanted to blog got laid - i need more porn seekers' keywords hitting the site. Big black diamond T done in cheapo Armstrong brand commercial tile to give the place that hospitally/retirement villa feel. And I pity the fool who messes with T

In the process discovered the original tiles that were put in the kitchen lurking under the cabinets. We had a similar unflattering pattern tile in the old home.

Guess I shouldn't have tried to lay tile all evening. Probably pissed off all the neighbours now. Nothing like a good first impression.

What could have been so important that the top drawer of the bathroom vanity needed a lock? Did the secret vanity drawer maybe contain the old buggers stash of Viagra? Emergency supply of Depends undergarments? The special box of ribbed condoms he saved for emergencies? Guess I'll never know.

I was hoping to find something left behind by the previous owners. You know a forgot laundry tag. Post card from Driftwood Inn circa 1965. But the only thing I've found so far is the evidence of their previous attempt to light a kitchen cabinet on fire.

Classic toiletry for aging bums

Trusty guard dog keeps watch over the new place

I'm officially a home owner. Now what the hell do I do? Oh yeah maybe start by ripping out that pink toilet and follow by disobeying all condo bylaws. There seems to be a large volume of geriatic owners, wonder if any have large inheritances they'd like to donate to me.

Would a post-apocalyptic world have nice soft toilet paper?

Being up late and discovering Teletoon is running possibly worst cartoon ever yet again made me want to go on a long rant. But then I discovered someone else has already done a pretty good analysis. The only thing I would have added is the phallic symbol that keeps popping up then disappearing on Robin's chest. I won't discuss the possible sexual meaning behind that but you can use your imagination.

If you want to witness the suckiness yourself you can watch an episode on this site. The only other cartoon that might equal it in lameness is the Undersea Adventures of Captain Nemo.

At least the Land of Oz had that feeling that the animators were totally wacked on LSD

If i'm in the printer room and swear really loud, would any clients hear me?

my hand is cramped from signing lots of legal documents. I said yes to "do you swear...so help you god" lots. Debated whether to ask for a definition of god - you know with this pope lovefest that's been happening in the media maybe I should get some clarity on this. Am i swearing to an old guy with a beard? Allah? Zoraster? Shiva? An incarnation of Buddha?

But then why complicate matters with a lawyer. Just show me where to sign so i can get this damn condo business settled.

Do you need a stenographer for your next meeting? Let me offer my services. As you can see I'm an excellent note taker and my attention is always directed to what's being discussed.

Not enough sleep. Too much sugar.

This is about the only sure re-decorating decision made so far.

I'm hoping the next pope will take the name for the common people like Pope Cleetus or Pope BillyBob.