Hello?
Rweddrr
Hello?
Rawtrher
Hello?
Rawbler
I think you have the wrong number

Fixing a bike and doing laundry at the same time. No matter how much you wash your hands after working on a hub, you'll never get rid of all the grease. So the clothes might be sitting in the machine for a little longer than expected.

I know you're not supposed to click on any links in junkmail but sometimes morbid curiousity gets the better of me.

I'm eating marshmellows
I'm shaving my feet

The new landlord came over for a meet and great so Pushkin thought it would be a really good time to go into a vomit frenzy 10 minutes before he got here.

Pressing issues. When will they make a sequel to Kazaam?

Weather for the last possible chance to take time out of Armstrong goes from sweltering heat under a blistering sun that would help Ullrich to drenching rain and tailwind that nullified and hope and pretty much guaranteed Ullrich to wipe out. All I want to know is how many chickens, babies, virgins, souls, vital organs have been sacrificed to get the fucking lucky breaks to ensure a 5th win.

The surprise upon getting home. With both cats saying, "It wasn't me, it was some other strange cat that snuck into the house."

Never liked that plant anyway.

Maybe all those junk e-mails on penis enlargement are true and maybe this statue shows the results.

My you are a very large spider. Did you get that size by nibbling on me during the night?

Does 115 over 65 and heartrate of 50 sound good?

It's just an excuse so I can continue saying buck today.

Pushkin must be trying to leave me messages in his puke. This one says something like "More tuna flavoured chunks please".

The end product of this study...monkey bankers. Part of the new global economy.

Okay Buffy, you were close but you obviously didn't finish the job.

Best way to fix the Service Engine Soon light is to cover it with black tape.

Huh huh huh huh I said wood.

They seem to be promoting the hell out of the Canadian Idol trying to make it interesting. Everytime I turn on the TV I see media whore, Ben "son of bastard media whore ex-Prime Minister" Mulroney, flogging this shit. Everytime my brain flashes to the winners of another long past music contest - Cats Can Fly. Such a memorable band and the winner of the Idol competition will probably turn out to be just as memorable.

I lied. It turned out to be $670 plus the bonus of finding a spare radio antenae laying on the floor. It also looked like they were either trying to get all my Slurpee/meter change or scrape off my patron saint of Buttercup sticker.

$109 for a VW filter part - my hopes are up. $710 to actually get it fixed - frazzen de razzenfraz. Definitely no iPod purchase will be made in the near future. The only positive is they fixed the broken glove compartment door for free.

I'm so happy to see that Koolaid man is still online after all these years:

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kool-Aid Man screamed, hands gripping the sides of his spout. "Curse you ... I will avenge you, Little Timmy. Flavour-Aid Fella, you shall rue the day that you crossed my path, and prevented me my god and goddess-given right to spread joy and happiness to all who ask. Vengence will be mine ... as of now, Flavour-Aid Fella, I'm pissed!"

It's hard to get back to sleep when you awake up to find a spider crawling across your shoulder.

Rescued a kitty from crossing a very busy street on my bike ride tonight.

What is it about meetings that never fail to leave me feeling depressed. Even when nothing bad happens.

Dear Buffy
I have a request for you to slay whatever demon Armstrong sold his soul and first born to so that all his main rivals would wipe out thereby pretty much ensuring another Tour victory. Especially this year when they were finally getting some good kicks in on his one remaining nad. Or perhaps if you know a time travelling demon like Yoko Ono, if they could go back and switch his position with Beloki on that corner or Hamilton in the first stage crash.

I could say "Ookla the Mock" all day long. Would you like to hear me? Here I go.

Shake Sauvage
Seems like my CD collection has a growing section of 70s porn soundtracks.

Also known as Klytus in Flash Gordon.

I can only postulate on such activities. Participation has long been denied.

It feels like an implosion is emminent.

Out with the old

In with the new

How much ham could a hamster stir?

If you have no soulmate does that mean you have no soul?

Canadian Idol brings crap to a whole new level. This is the best they could find? Even the rejects from American Idol were better.

Then there's that other great Stampede tradition to witness. Watching goofballs in white hats "brand" unsuspecting people as they enter through the international arrival doors at the airport. I doubt there's any real medical danger but you also have to question the logic behind bonking 1000s of travellers a day with the same unsanitized stamp when people are paranoid about SARS. And don't forget, this is all done to the wailing of competent but aggrevating country buskers (sort of the country version of the music coming out of an ice cream truck). YEEEeeeeeEEHAWww

Hinterland Who's Who
The fat bellied oil man is an elusive creature. Easily identifiable by poorly choosen dress suits from chain men's wear stores or in ratty old golf shirts when in a more casual relaxed mood. However, during the rutting season in certain Canadian climes, the fat bellied oil man comes out of his artificially lit burrow to model his magnificant plumage in the tightest pair of jeans, best Garth Brooks shirt, and big ass cowboy hat. Binge eating on greasy sausages and pancakes accompanied by high volumes of cheap liquor, they spend the days watching cattle being tortured, line dancing like buffoons, or both. All this is done over the period of a week to prepare for the upcoming 349 days of puritanical repression.

Did you know that Canada is the only country to never win a gold medal while hosting the Olympics. And we've achieved that twice with both summer and winter games. Here's thinking that 2010 will once again be good for athletes from around the world. More importantly, can Vancouver have a mascot lamer than Calgary's Howdy and Hidy.

let's see. Wonder what else I can break this summer that will cost lots to replace.