Where's my phone? It's not in the bag pocket I put it in. Must have fell out riding to the office. Better back track to home to try to find it. Not here at home. Better call to suspend my service. Let's ride back to work - maybe I can still find it laying on the road. No luck. Let's just get on with work. Hey what's this in the shoes I had in my bag? Oh it's my phone.

In honour of the mad cow brouhaha going on around here, an old site but a good site. Milko Music Machine

Wondering about the pros and cons of being a slumlord

Did the classic balance through the red light on the bike, get caught for a split second leaning the wrong way, not get foot out of the pedal fast enough, fall over on your ass technique this evening. Sometimes you need a little tumble for a wake up call. Plus I'm sure it was entertaining for the drivers at the intersection.

Monkey number 3 has started, only 7 more to go.

Fat men displaying their shirtless pasty tummies. Must be the first hot day of the year.

I think the wolves got the kitty. Might have to scour the block in search of him.

I'm getting very concerned about this little fellow. He's been arriving at my doorstep almost every morning this week meowing up a storm. Every time he seems to have some new scratch or wound on him. This morning he had a nasty gash by his ear. He seems well fed. Has a collar but no tags. Hopefully he belongs to someone in the neighbourhood and has not been abandoned. Hopefully he'll be at my door tomorrow and not eaten by wolves during the night.

1000 People More Annoying Than Mick Hucknall
An interesting project but a pretty tall task given his wankerness.

You know what's not pretty. A mid 50s out of shape woman in J-Lo style very short crochetted hot pants. Not a sight one needs to see.

Oh i feel like crap,
oh i feel like crap,
crap crap crap crap,
oh I feel like crap.

I do

Must. Stop. Scratching. Eyes.
Bloody flubug.

Johnny Knoxville in the real version of one of my favorite childhood movies. One of the few times I wish I had MTV. I know where a mint condition 1966 GTO is, wonder if it's available to enter...

The highlight of Auto Focus - Bob Crane making his appearance on Celebrity Cooking with Bruno Gerussi which was pretty damn funny for different reasons. Mainly John Kapelos's get up as Bruno complete with authentic size afro and cheesy mustache. Wish I had rented Flash Gordon instead.

That's Reverend Sunny Jim to you

Now that I'm officially ordained by the Universal Life Church after a gruelling 3 minute procedure, I'd like to announce that I'm available to perform any weddings, burials, baptisms, or circumcisions you might require. All faiths and denominations are welcome. I plan on making bishop by july.

Let's add 1:55 pm - carmel popcorn to that list since some just arrived in the office.

There seems to be growing concern in the office about my eating habits. So just to recap my intake today so far:

• 5:40 am - 1 cup of coffee
• 5:55 am - 1 bowl Kellogs Just Right Cereal (finished the Corn Pops on Wednesday)
• 9:15 am - 1 very large cup of coffee
• 11:42 am - 1 can of Coke
• 12:12 pm - 1 small mocha (no whip cream though)

Yesterday was largely the same only add Twizzlers + Big Turk for lunch and too lazy to make anything decent when I got home so had a couple turkey sandwiches. Okay so maybe there's been a little bit of a caffeine/sugar theme but it makes the day go faster. Tonight's dinner features prosciutto, artichoke hearts, and pesto so there is a little more variety than coffee and chocolate.

R & J are in Japan. Why can't I be in Japan?

The K-mart in Spokane had these around 1981. To this day I still regret not buying them.

The highlight of this mother's day was probably seeing the poor sod sent into the street dressed up like a lobster attacked by the other kitchen staff.

Really bad covers of really eye gougingly bad songs were in the air everywhere I went today. It was so bad I was expecting someone to resurrect Leo Sayer on the next track I heard.

Guess I should learn where the redial button is on this cellphone so I don't keep accidently hitting it with objects.

There's nothing like getting onto a crowded train after a day of work and listen to indepth discussions of teen girls on subjects like Crest White Strips, movies they didn't understand, and other girls' personal hygene.

Always wish I could explain things a little more articulately. We had a meeting on fixing the company branding. My comments in such situations generally come from gut-reaction straight-to-the-point observations. That basically amount to "Hey they really fucked up the logo here" or "Because it doesn't suck and the other way does". And don't forget the all important, "Yah what he said because that actually explains what I mean by suck". Maybe I'll join a debating team. I think I'd do really well.

Is your cat underdressed? We can help.

Okay, now this is really pissing me off to no end. And if I hear anyone bitch about it being too hot in summer like people did last year, they're going to get the toe of my winter boot up their ass.

Right on, in 1905 I'd be getting loaded down by the river with the other footmen

Watched the Transporter last night. I wouldn't say it's bad but as far as action films go it was pretty so-so. How many ultra-specialized criminal professions can Luc Besson invent to bake movies around? The Carpet Cleaner, The Wood Laminator, The Teamster Union Rep?

Hospitals are great for meeting new people. Like the escaped loony at the next table who continually wanted to talk to me. He claimed his spilled coffee was completely absorbed into the table's varnish.