Shortly into my skate the pangs of food poisoning hit me; leading to complete disorientation. In the middle of it, an obvious connection in the structure of Eschenbach's Parzival and Calvino's Castle of Crossed Destinies suddenly hit me for no real reason. And now to stave off vomitting.

"Perhaps this rapid growth of interest in knife throwing is because the sport is fundamentally still a back yard recreational activity..."
Yeah like the time when we were kids and Heiko accidently hit John in the neck with the lawn dart.

Bloody cats. Decided they'd start fighting each other and run through the place at 1:30 last night. Was very close to throwing them out into a snow bank they were so bad.

One last Olympics thought:

In order to prevent further judging disputes in the figure skating competition, all competitors should be forced to wear their future "Ice Capades" costume thus hiding their true identity from the judges thereby resolving any predetermined marks.

Dropped an entire carton of eggs while shopping for groceries tonight. Is there any etiquette for dealing with unpurchased packages that drip yolk?

In case you're wondering about those Olympic records

Skipped through about 5 time periods and 20 unknown locales in my dream last night.

If I bought $20 worth of lottery tickets, I wonder if I could win $20.

Feeling disjointed. Drove for 2 hours in the country tonight to clear my head. Got back feeling the same. Moon was bright.

Someone's on the move again.

It's a fact:
If Pushkin finds a discreet and remote location to puke (thus allowing the bile to dry sufficiently) the deposited stomach matter eventually takes the consistency of the dried broth mix that comes with instant Chicken Noodle Soup. Mmmm mmm good.

Out of the blue Air Canada sent me a "Prestige" member card. Maybe this the universe signalling me I need to travel more or just a scam by Air Canada to make me think that I potentially could get "Prestige" style service on a flight somewhere. It's most definitely the latter but I'm taking it as the former because I need another trip.

If someone had pictures of Dr. Zonk and the Zunkins I'd be very happy.

El Gran Juego de la Oca. Or in Pierre Lalonde speak "Your chance to win Z-Brick or a dinner for 2 at the Old Spagetti Factory"

One of nature's most amazing fruits, Twizzlers can be picked and eaten fresh off the tree or used as a straw to sip fine refreshments. At dinner parties it is the mark of the true Gentile Homme.

I do not believe you can catch me for I am super freaky

Shit, I was beginning to think his real name was Artie, the Strongest Man in the World.

Hee Hee It's definitely the cat hork.

The Bowel Clenching Desktop is finished. Coloured in a fresh minty green, you can get it in your favorite sizes of 640x480 and 1024x768. Also available with all the other flavourful Mixed Nuts.

Amazing achievements for Tuesday:

• Cleaned litterbox
• Washed car
• Looked on internet for toque like italian x-c skier was wearing
• Worked on new desktop pattern
• Took in old watch to get fixed
• Went to art gallery
• Drank Coke Slurpee

Don't know why I'm even thinking about watches today - I rarely wear the ones I own. And the Hamliton I really want with the 50's boomarangs isn't even here.

A separate thought going through my head today.

The cats are being bad today.

My liquor cabinet is starting to run perilously low for mixing drinks.

Been 4 straight days of long rides that end with me struggling to peel lycra off then lying as long as possible in the shower with the hottest water running.

"It's 3:30 mountain time here in Salt Lake City. I'm Ted Baxter. In a few minutes we'll be heading to a press conference on what Jamie Sale and David Pelletier are going to have for dinner. Then at the top of the hour, Jamie's mother will be on to weigh in about the menu and if she feels they got the correct meal preparation. Later tonight the Canadian allstar hockey team (circa 1992) will fail miserably. Then it's back to Jamie and David and their thoughts on the game. But now a video montage of Jamie and David. I think Beckie Scott did something today but that was overshadowed by those evil skating judges not us the media - even though this event gives me a great opportunity to rant endlessly on television since no one has been caught with drugs yet. Just a moment Jamie and David are thinking about using the washroom let's throw it over to them and a press conference on the quality of the washroom they're about to use. We'll also get the opinion of some people that saw Jamie and David on the street earlier this week..."

The horse has been flogged. Move on for fuck sake and start showing real sports like x-country skiing.

Performed to the musical strains of Kool and the Gang's "Get Down On It".

Had a couple wierd dreams last night. One involved the newly installed MySQL which in the dream turned out to be possessed. Anything called from the database looked normal but was really a doppelganger. But if you viewed the info through a mirror you'd see its true form. Another dream seemed to feature a pair of Camper shoes prominently as well as people from high school.

Managed to create a personal webserver, install PHP, and install mySql without blowing up the PC. Haven't done anything useful with any of this but I feel like a real nerd.

It's been about 5 years since my stint at the UofC Library but I'm still amazed that no matter which library you go to in the world, you end up with the same cross section of library freaks. Wonder where Dr. Gum and Mr. Fuck are these days and what library they're lurking in.

Mr. PG is cooking up something very special today.

Official MIT Winter Olympics Drinking Game
There should be a CBC version with things like:

• Canadian medal hopeful finishes out of contention
• Brian Williams talks about a scandal
• Brian Williams says something stupid
• Ron MacLean tries to say something witty
• Steve Armitage yells out the play by play

It's easy to forget how hard it is to eat a PowerBar during a 3km climb on the bike.

I really have to wonder if any body I know was singing in on this record.
 
In other musical news I consider this a heresy. But I'm saving the jihad for Tom Cruise's planned movie version. Somethings should be left in their original wrapper and the Shaggs are one of them.

Lately I've had this urge to buy an old car to rebuild. One of these could be fun to boot around in.

For a slight change of pace I thought I'd go for a lunchtime skate today instead of the evening session. And who else should turn up? None other than the Blue Blur himself. I have 2 new theories on him. A) He's recovering from a brain stem injury and has to continually skate backwards for his rehabilitation B) He's drifter like Kane on Kung-Fu. Going around town to every public skating session he can find - fighting injustice and poor ice maintenance. Whatever the theory, his blue outfit must be getting a little gamey now.

Loosing...all muscle..tone....must...get off..couch.....

It only took Ted Baxter 15 minutes into the Olympic coverage to mention athletes and drugs. He did resist using his favorite term "Drug Cheat".

So in the feel good Broadway version of the history of Utah, were the skating wolves and cougars representative of the small-pox blankets the settlers and army handed out to the First Nations? Not sure what Sting, Robbie Robertson, or the Dixie Chicks have to do with Utah. There should have been singing and dancing Osmonds.

Just getting set for some of that great Olympic commentary on CBC from Ted Baxter eeerrrrr Brian Willaims.

While brushing my teeth this morning, Brontë jumped into the bathtub and tried to leave me a surprise. Drooling toothpaste and thinking fast, I grabbed her and managed to throw her into the litterbox - surely I'd prevented another messy clean up. Not so. She did her business alright but saved some to deposit on the stairs minutes after jumping out of the box. I sing the bowels electric.

Ordered a new helmet today.

Like all aliens in the 80s, Bennu has feathered hair, superpowers, and astro sign medallions.

Spent most of the afternoon assembling Ikea furniture. Now my head is filled with particle board glue vapors.

Oooooh I feel so full of lethe these days.

It's a new year, a new month, and I've got some time on my hands so I thought I'd paint my toes again.

If you're uncertain about how clean your laundry is, I have a new service. It's called the Puke-o-mat. It works like this. Pushkin will personally inspect all freshly done laundry. If he is not completely satisfied with the quality of the laundry, he will personally puke up his Cat Chow on the clothes forcing you to wash them again. It ensures that you will always smell lemony fresh.

Went to Edmonton for the day. Didn't do too much but made a couple good cd purchases.

For no one in particular, I already have a greyhound. He's got horns and wings and doesn't ask for much food.

I love highway driving in low light levels early in the morning or in the evening

Need to find one of my old Participaction badges to complete this hoodie and hide the commercial branding.