...so then I wander into a shoe store to delay going back to the computer and I stumble upon a great pair of shoes.

And then I say, "My you are a most wonderful pair of shoes. But I'm trying to save money and I don't need new shoes". And then the shoes say,"Oh, just put me on your feet, if only for fun". To which I unwittingly do. Then the shoes whisper in my ear, "Don't I feel comfy? I fit your feet almost to perfection as if we were made for each other. See how beautiful I look on your feet. Haven't you searched for a pair of shoes like me for ages? Don't you want to possess me?". To which I reply, "Yes, but it's all moving too fast. You are so beautiful and I currently dress like an off duty janitor. Where could I possibly wear you that would befit your lavish style? And I have christmas presents to buy. To purchase you would mean no catnip for all the kitties's stockings". Only to be retorted by those soulless shoes, "Foolish mortal! You will pay for your insolence! You will take me to the cashier and produce a VISA card!"

Then I ran out of the store trying to shake the shoes's mind control power. As I ran I could hear them snickering, "You'll be back. You know you want me".