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I want so badly to put him in the , because of the sheer uselessness of his music. But grudgingly I have to admit his songs are so formulaic in their banal blue jean rock that he could have made it anyway. Still sucks though.
But here's another point that illustrates the stupidity of the CanCon system. Adams - born in Canada - didn't qualify as CanCon. Because he lives and records in England there technically isn't enough Canadiana on his albums to meet the standard. What the fuck?
This update submitted by happy reader:
"once the boneheads at the CRTC realised that they are in fact boneheads they made a change. This change was affectionatly (or not) dubbed "The Bryan Adams Rule". This allows for half credit in the Lyrics and Music part of the MAPL grading system. Thus, Bryan is now Cancon!!" Woohoo
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Couldn't sing, couldn't dance, couldn't write, could sort of pout. Was backed by Much Music, looked good in a leather jacket, could sort of pout, chicks dug him.
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Canadian icon. Elvis's favorite female singer. Awarded countless Juno awards because they couldn't find anybody else to give them to. Icon yes. Inspiring? Maybe to people over 60. Then there's all the hockey player rumours Bo always tells me about (Paul Rienhart? Really?).
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Sure she can technically hit all the notes, but god there's more soul in my pudding. Banal to the extreme along with her lethario husband, Papa Smurf. Canada's answer to and I don't mean that as compliment. Becoming the most bovine of sacred cows.
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She can be entertaining in interviews but the music? ZZZZZZZZZ. The next Anne Murray and that's not something to really aspire too.
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Wild horses couldn't tear his mullet away. I guess he was sort of the Rex Smith of Canada
with a little more talent. Although he didn't get to host Solid Gold or do dinner
theatre in Calgary like Rex.
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Pre-eminent Canadian producer of polished shlock. At the very least he does know a muzzak formula that will sell records by the millions. Destroyed my faith in pop when I discovered he produced . Looks like Herb Tarlek. Ran over Ben Vereen.
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The Box
Forgettable French Canadian band that played MOR in english. Singer "dressed to the right"
I believe.
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Harmless pop diva from Quebec. At least she didn't take herself too seriously. Her success had more to do with the T&A factor than CanCon.
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Granted the early Red Rider stuff was good for the time and would almost warrant
moving Tom up a notch. Unfortunately, Tom then did the blue jeans t-shirt thing,
started hanging with Terry David Mulligan, and doing Yosemite Sam imitations in his
songs,"Life is a highway, DOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH".
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Headpins
Or is that the Pinheads. I'm going to be lenient because they constitute a guilty pleasure. Gosh
that Darby Mills had soft features.
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Gordie One note. Because of him a generation grew up thinking the wreck of the Edmund
Fitzgerald was this Titanic like event. Sure it was bad but it was no Titanic. Did
I mention he has a one note range?
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I really loved the first 2 albums when they came out, and for those 2 I'd rate them higher. But for some inexplicable reason Bob Rock caved to Paul Hyde's lameness. Whatever the result Bob Rock at least knows production.
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Admit it, her work really isn't all that adventurous. , , and all blow Alanis out their ass. Consider the fact that she's basically just a (or for the younger set) that managed to change her image at the right time. And her sexual inuendo goes soft when you realise she might be singing about Dave Coulier of Full House fame (you know the guy that makes funny voices).
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As musicians, they were no virtuosos. But they did know a good hook when they heard
one. Paul Dean and Matthew Frenette must have played in every hard rock band in Canada.
Banal as they really are, it can't be disputed that they could have made it anywhere.
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They had a couple of good hooks when the likes of Trooper and Prism were being flogged.
That's the best I can say.
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Proof that: A) Country music is a diseased ridden corpse with no original ideas. B) Lap-dancing can make you millions
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Okay okay it is questionable to put them here. This is the one and only reason why. I remember when they first came out and they sounded like nothing out of Canada.
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Chiliwack
Right up there with Toto. SCTV did the best rendition of "My Girl (gone so long)" with their PreTeen World skit.
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The K.D. Lang robot replacement from Nashville/via LA. No more Patsy Cline just a hunger for Anne Murray.
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Better Turned Off...
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Hides the fact that she has nothing to say behind a pretty voice and careful arrangements. Gets more suckage points for making horrible imitations of Klimt paintings.
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A sacred cow of a different variety. Was there ever a need to unleash Big Yellow Taxi on the unsuspecting public? Oh lord the vomitting that song induces.
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Need music for a beer commercial? I guess this is kind of inoffensive rock but it was bludgeoned to death by CanCon.
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Pointy nose dude has a good voice but can't write anything interesting. Goofy looking guy can't sing but can write the odd good lyric. Eh what the hell they do have considerable polish, I just can't bring myself to elevate them higher.
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Kind of alright folk rockers. I have a weak spot because there's something about the singer that reminds me of an old picture of my uncle George (I never claimed this was a scientific survey).
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Useless carnival act in Vegas. But god bless him for slaughtering national anthems.
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I can see having one Tragically Hip album, but is there any reason to have more?
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Guilty on inducing musical snooze-fests.
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Two songs have sustained a 4 decade career.
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Every once in a while, Canada produces someone who somehow manages to suck internationally thereby bypassing the need of CanCon to further their career. Whoa Nelly - with your shrill voice that's you.
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More still to come...
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Main Argument
